Praise - after over 6 hairy weeks with my condo sale and this week them missing a deadline and us not knowing if the condo is sold or not.... it appears that all should be fine. Please continue to pray they will show up with money in hand at closing next Thursday. Thank you so much to my friends and parents who are at my condo finishing the packing for me today! I love you all!
Praise - Abby returned from Bamako and ultra-sound shows all kidney stones are gone! And Michelle recovered by the end of this week from Malaria as well!
Praise to our Father who provided an opportunity for me to share the Demon-Possessed Man story with my English-speaking tailor friend here in North Star. Since meeting "Joshua" just back in March, I've enjoyed sitting and talking with him sometimes for 2 hours at a time on the weekends. He is 35, is married to an 18-year-old and has a 1 year old son who is adorable. He has invited us to his house and we met all his family. He truly has become one of my best friends and we've had some really neat conversations. He is one of the people I am going to miss the most when I leave. He has said so of me also!
He received the story well, but unfortunately we didn't get to discuss it much as we were interrupted by a man I had not met.... and as Satan works, the man asked me if I pray? which of course interrupted me sharing The Word He went on to tell me that Esa said that someone would come and that was M and that I should believe that. He asked me if I did and I just smiled and listened. People like that are not open to hearing from our Father's Word. After the man left, Joshua even kind of apologized by saying, "you know some people are just rude".
The conversation that Joshua and I had briefly after that was a bit alarming.... he told me that he knew of many stories of people casting out demon's and even one with the prophet M doing so as well. Then he went on to tell me something about King Solomon. He asked if I knew who that was - of course I said yes. But he recounted a story to me about how our Father had made King Solomon wise and powerful over all inhabitants of earth even the demons. And the demons were submissive to him and worked for him in the fields. But when King Solomon died he asked our Father to put a separation between man and the demons because they are too powerful to be controlled by anyone else on earth. So our Father sent them to their own universe where they live their 'lives'. I didn't agree I just listened.
We also discussed 'medicine healers' and he told me it is very common for doctors even to bring their patients to one when they can't heal them. These' healers' call upon the good spirits he says and create a medicine then for healing and many people are healed that way. Lots of times it is women who can't get pregnant and he said almost always within a year the woman does..... um.... the thought perhaps doesn't cross their minds really that our Father is in control of all things, not the good spirits called upon. I got the feeling he has been to these 'healers', though I didn't want to ask.
We also talked about prayer because I said I will be praying about what our Father wants me to do when I get home. He remembered that I said I'd pray for him about his future business plans as well. He said, "I see you believe in prayer because you talk about that a lot". He said," prayer is hard and doesn't always work and so we have to do the best we can on our own." I told him our Father answers prayer always, it may not be the way we desire or ask for or it may be a year from now or it may be never but even that is still an answer. I said, "He always knows what is best for us. It was a wonderful conversation.
Sarah and I went to one of the Fulani villages that we had gone to with the medical team back in February but had not been back to yet. We spent several hours there and quickly our Father provided for us to run into the mayor's brother who spoke French so I could communicate and then he got his sister who spoke our "Sonshine" language so Sarah could as well. It was fun also because I got to use some of the Fulani language that I learned in Senegal while on the mission trip there and people understood me! I could only say "Hello", "Thank you", "What is your name", "How are you" and "See you later" but it is so huge to them to hear you trying to speak their own language.
We also had a fun conversation with the 3 ladies (the medics and midwives) that work at the CESCOM (the clinic). One of them was the first person to really be confused and question our names and couldn't believe they were real. After much discussion amongst themselves and asking how we got our African names, she asked me in French, "when you go back to the US will you use Toudo Diawara? and "What name do your official papers say?" It was funny and I explained of course that we have American names and that is what we will use at home again. Many Africans are curious about our real names, ask what they are and usually have difficulty saying them. The kids in our family call me "Benis"! The whole thing lead Sarah and I to discuss how strange it is in a way because we hear our American names so little (when we're in the village or around others we always call each other by our African names). I really feel like Toudo is me now.... sort of assumed a new identity really. I think it will feel weird to come home and not have anyone call me Toudo anymore. Maybe some of you could every once in a awhile just for my enjoyment!
Speaking of identities.... one of my recent devotions talked about, "in order to be an effective witness for JC we must learn to identify with others. Identifying with others is stepping in their shoes which can't always be literally done. However spiritually it means feeling their hurt and needs and praying as if it were our own." We have no better example of true identification then JC himself who bore the ultimate scars of identification with me when He died on the cross having taken on human form like me.
Even coming to the mission field to try and identify 'by actually walking in their shoes' can be difficult to cross over to truly making yourself one of your people and not just an outsider looking in trying to survive village life. So the question is..... in your ministry wherever that may be.... are you truly trying to identify and become one of the people you are ministering to or are you just on the outside looking in - doing your time and then waiting to get back to your own? I guess to some degree we do because our Father made us and placed un in a certain life and that is where we belong.
Hebrews 6:10 shares a word of encouragement with this identity process I think.... "(Our Father) is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people."
The bulk of the story this week was the marriage of our sister "Emma". It was a really fun and different week but exhausting. Tuesday was spent visiting and spending time with her and our family. All afternoon was spent having special decorative Henna (the foot/ hand dye) done. Each of us got both feet and our left hand done which took about 2 hours for each of us. Talk about a sore rear-end. And of course we spent a good deal of time in "Sonshine" and in French trying to figure out what the actual wedding plans were. Tuesday evening we thought we had it all figured out. Ha! Ha!
Wednesday we arrived to two houses and porches full of women sitting, talking, preparing food - it was nuts! Turns out, it really did feel a bit like a "bachelorette party". Eventually we figured out that after lunch we would be taking Emma and Jeri with us to the husband's village which was about 10-12 km away. We were also confused because the women were making a HUGE amount of Saga-Saga (green sauce made from green vines cooked down and served with rice). We had told our family that we'd make American spaghetti for lunch as a going away for Emma. So we eventually sorted it out that we were still going to make that as well as theirs - you can never have too much food I guess!
They 'pulled' us over to another porch in the compound where more women were sitting all going through Emma's trunk of gifts and looking at the 4 huge piles of pots, bowls of all types. They were counting and organizing the many, many pieces of material in her trunk and putting them in different piles and we couldn't figure out why. We eventually did the next day but all these items were her wedding gifts - it was quite a load - a whole donkey carts worth.
Then it was time for me to begin the spaghetti. I had thought it might be somewhat tricky but imagine now having 15-20 women in your kitchen, saying things you can't understand and not really knowing what or how you were cooking anyway - I WAS STRESSED OUT and HOT!
After we finished we bathed (kind of) and packed up. We 'gifted' some of the spaghetti too the mayor's house and some to our friend Joanni. Then we sat done to eat the spaghetti ourselves with our family and some of the women. All of this seemed to be in a rush, however when finished, we just sat. All of us women on the front porches with Emma. Finally about 4pm they said it was time to go. Good-byes were rough for Emma and our Mom and friends. There were many tears including us. I think the first time I've really seen an African cry! Then a small group of her friends headed out the compound to parade Emma around through the village a bit. The man in our compound drew us directions in the dirt on how to get there - oh my goodness. We go between mountains, cross 2 rivers and at the fork we go left- crazy! We had to stop and ask directions several times.
We arrived outside her new village in about 50 minutes and then they told us to wait. Turns out we waited in the desert heat under a small thorn tree for about 2 hours while the donkey carts made their way to us. Then at about 7:30pm (dark) we paraded into the village all together. We arrived at the groom's father's house where we sat and had 2 'snack meals' and then laid down to rest. About 10:30pm we walked Emma to her husband's compound and were quickly shuttled into a room surrounding Emma to hide her with her face covered as well. We sat there and ate another meal. After awhile we walked her, still hiding, over to another room which we were told was her 'house'. She remained in hiding in that room until about 11:30am the next day only leaving to bathe and use the bathroom once.
I had a true campout adventure and unrolled my air mattress in the back of the pick-up truck to try and rest finally a little after midnight. You see, the men including her husband were playing cards all night right in the middle of the compound as we were hiding Emma. It sort of felt like we were walking through the middle of their bachelor party. At the end of the compound a large group of young people - mainly men had loud modern type rap music and dancing going on!
Thursday morning (which weddings traditionally take place on Thursdays here- not sure why) we got up and bathed (which really means you put water on your face, feet and arms and we put on our fancy clothes and yes make-up). Then all the women from our village walked back to the father's compound and presented them with a large piece of material and then they served us breakfast. After about 45 minutes we walked back and had breakfast in the husband's compound - served with coffee and fried dough (like donuts).
Then we sat! Some of the women from our village went over to the other porch were the women of his family and this village had gathered. They pulled out all the plastic bowls and pieces of material and told the women how much was there. The matron of the family then distributed amongst all the other women. Kind of Emma's gift (though she was still in hiding) to her new family for having taken her in.
Finally, about 11:30am Emma put on make-up and changed into her fancy outfit and came out of the room! We walked her over to the other porch (which is about 20 feet away mind you) and she sat on a wood stool in the middle of the women of this village. After we took pictures, we were told to sit right next to her. The whole time, we had places of honor really next to Emma - it was very special. The matron of the family stood in front of Emma and said some words which of course we didn't understand but found out later, she said a lot of prayers, welcomed her to the family and then kind of gave her the rules of how to be a good wife! Then we walked her back to her room. The whole time, her husband was sitting in jeans and a white pin-stripe shirt with the men in the middle of the compound, completely uninvolved in the whole process! We found out why later.
We kept trying to figure out when an actual marriage ceremony was happening. But eventually we had to leave to go get Abby who was coming in on the bus. We were told they were going to eat lunch, decorate Emma's house/ room and then the women from our village would be leaving to go home about 4pm.
So explanations from Joshua when I sat with him yesterday. Turns out this was completely different kind of wedding event because it was Emma's second (her family and baby died, we don't know how).
The biggest thing was that this was actually the celebration not the marriage. When her husband came to our village for the week about 6 weeks ago is when the actual marriage officially took place. The men of her family sit with the men of his family and 'do the negotiations of dowry and acceptance of the marriage proposal". This was also the first time her husband and her would have met. In villages they rarely sign any papers unless the couple comes to North Star some time later and decides to do so with the Consulate office. The marriages in North Star (in cities) have taken on much more of a western feel however with brides wearing traditional white wedding gowns, having a reception and the use of wedding rings.
First time weddings for the female (of course because men might have many) would go something like this. The bride would be paraded through the village. About 10pm, the grooms family (but not him) would go get her at her family compound and bring her to a mutual friends/ family compound. That is when the father would give her away and the groom's family would promise to care for her. About midnight, the female family members would take her to the husbands house where they would then be wed and stay together.
For a first marriage the woman must stay in the husband's house for 7 days straight, not leaving and not having visitors but he can, of course. For a second marriage of the female it is 3 days. After that time period, her friends and family would come and decorate her room. Here is a kicker - after the wedding night a counselor, it is this persons actual job, would come visit the couple in the morning and ask them how everything went! And discuss it with each. If the female had difficulty accepting her husband (which he said is often the case because they may only be 15-20 years old and are scared) the consular continues to come each morning until things are worked out!
All in all, it was a fun time, but it was nice to get home and by that I mean our village. It was awkward being in another village and with people we didn't know. It's funny how I can say our village feels like ours and we truly enjoy it better than another.
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